Married Quotes

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

If you help yourself to the benefits of being married when you are single, you're likely to help yourself to the benefits of being single when you're married.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

There's one fool at least in every married couple.

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Poetry was the maiden I loved, but politics was the harridan I married.

First and foremost, I married for love. I can't believe I even have to defend this.

‎ When a person is born we rejoice, and when they're married we jubilate, but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.

Arthur Miller wouldn't have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde.

I would not have married Dan Quayle had I not thought he was an equal to me.

I was married for 30 years. Isn't that enough? I've had my share of dirty underwear on the floor.

This is what sexual liberation chiefly accomplishes-it liberates young women to pursue married men.

I don't need to be married to Georgia O'Keeffe or Lillian Hellman, but I like being with a woman I can look up to.

I want to be married and I want to be away from people.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

One should never know too precisely whom one has married

I saw my wife at a pool, flipped over her, and 14 days later we were married.

I've only slept with men I've been married to. How many women can make that claim?

The squabbles of philandering Zeus and shrewish Hera are the Greeks' comment on married life.

Writing is the only thing I've ever done with persistence, except for being married.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

When I get married, it'll be no secret.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

No wedding bells for me anymore. I've been happily married to my profession for years.

Getting married is the most fun you can have in life. Being married sucks

I learned the truth at seventeen, That love was meant for beauty queens, And high school girls with clear skinned smiles, Who married young and then retired.

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.

There were chunks of my life when I was married, and when I was married I never cheated. But I made up for it when I wasn't married. You have to keep your hand in.

Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.

I never got married anyway, because I wasn't particularly keen on accepting the responsibility of another person.

Don't get married to an actress, because they're also actresses in bed.

I'm not really married to the craft of jazz - I'm married to me, and my style, and whatever I produce.

Why would a married couple that lives together every day need to date each other? It's precisely because they live and sleep together.

It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.

Tell me my copy is missing the last twenty pages or something. Hazel Grace, tell me I have not reached the end of this book. OH MY GOD DO THEY GET MARRIED OR NOT OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?!

A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.

And in a marriage you can't TRY and be married. You're married or you're not married... as far as I'm concerned.

I am no longer married, so ladies... there you go.

It was never my intention to marry anybody. Economics are basically the only reason to get married, but I'm very glad I did it.

My ideal kinda guy, if I was really gonna go there even though he's married, is Mark Wahlberg. To me he's a little black and white, the kinda guy who would understand if I pull my weave out.

If I had done everything I was supposed to, I'd be leading the league in homers, have the highest batting average, have given $100,000 to the Cancer Fund and be married to Marie Osmond.

I'm married, which means that instead of occasionally wondering about men from afar, I actually live with one and can be constantly astounded by the strange male brain.

Whether you're married or not, relationships - and the satisfaction tied to them - are extremely important for increasing men's and women's quality of life.

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.

After youve been married quite a few years, you learn to take orders; it just comes easy.

I expect celibacy of any person that is not married.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that.