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The moment we see beyond our personal desires to be felt sympathy for, that is the time we can actually start the journey to that final destination of true forgiveness.
The pain you have gone through will give you the strength of character to come through it all, so long as you learn from what you have suffered then it was not suffering at all.
You are not, though, forgiving so as to let others off with things. You are forgiving so that you can empower yourself to get over it and become strong.
Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments and the black ones are sad moments. Both keys are played together to give us the sweet music called Life.