My Baby Quotes

I've always been a true believer that if men had babies, nobody would be trying to tell them what they can and can't do with their bodies.

There was a period where our child's birth was getting really close, and we still had nothing. We were dangerously close to calling him Untitled Baby Project.

God walked down the stairs of heaven with a Baby in His arms.

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

A healthy newborn has been delivered in a more or less satisfying fashion. The baby is feeding well, has short nails and a clean bottom, and has not drowned. What now?

Sometimes you can gradually improve things. But sometimes, they don't work, and you've just got to just say: Let's grind this baby to a halt.

I'm a working stiff, baby, just like everybody else.

For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process.

I look at my kid, and one part of me wants to keep her as my little baby. But, y'know, the bottom line is she's 18!

Oh my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.

Baby's fishing for a dream, fishing near and far. His line a silver moonbeam is, his bait a silver star.

C'mon baby light for me!

England is, after all, the land where children are beaten, wives and babies bashed, football hooligans crunch, and Miss Whip and Miss Lash ply their trade as nowhere else in the western world.

Parents should talk to their children, even when they are babies and can't talk back.

Babies and young children are like the research and development division of the human species, and we grown-ups are production and marketing.

Unborn children can experience pain even more so than adults as the baby has more pain receptors per square inch than at any other time in its life.

They [sic] ain't gonna stop me from coming here, baby.

No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great baby - so helpless and so ridiculous.

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me?

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I love babies. I could take care of them for all the days of my life and I'd be happy. It is for sure passion No. 1.

Suddenly she was here. And I was no longer pregnant; I was a mother. I never believed in miracles before.

In spite of her cute little angelic face and pink sneakers, Brianna is actually a baby Tyrannosaurus rex. On STEROIDS!

I close my eyes and it's so real and all at once I know just what I feel - And baby it's the kind of rush that terrifies.

Holding these babies in my arms makes me realize the miracle my husband and I began.

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.

When a mother has a baby, she should stay home with that baby.

Maybe if I have another baby [I will grow my hair], because your hair grows super fast. I'll just grow it out and go natural for a minute.

I was proud of the youths who opposed the war in Vietnam because they were my babies.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

The world is a very complicated place, as babies know.

There must be a better reason to have a baby than to provide a plot point in a rom-com. Don't you think?

Success is a staircase, not a doorway.

I'd like to thank my wife, Anna. I love you more than rainbows, baby

It's a good thing babies don't give you a lot of time to think. You fall in love with them and when you realize how much they love you back, life is very simple.

We all wanted babies - but did any of us want children?

I've never managed anywhere, I've managed to stay alive for 63 and a half years baby.

Nothing grows in our garden, only washing. And babies.

A live action movie is work, and an animated movie is you showing up in your pajamas once every three months, or in my case, just a splash of baby powder. It's not any kind of heavy lifting.

Without a deadline, baby, I wouldn't do nothing.

Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like it. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives.

The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby.

I have the most lovely, healthy bouncing baby, she was all very compact and the right size.

The truth is, no matter how trying they become, babies two and under don't have the ability to make moral choices, so they can't be bad. That category only exists in the adult mind.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

Since women are better at producing babies, presumably Nature has given men some talent to compensate. But for the moment I can't think of it.

The kind of man who thinks that helping with the dishes is beneath him will also think that helping with the baby is beneath him, and then he certainly is not going to be a very successful father.

Chips with every damn thing. You breed babies and you eat chips with everything.