My Dog Quotes

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.

If you live among dogs, keep a stick. After all, this is what a hound has teeth for-to bite when he feels like it!

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend.

My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!"

Dogs do know how comfortable you are with yourself, how happy you are, how fearful you are, and what is missing inside of you.

I'd just like to say that I have a personal disgust for small dogs, like poodles. I have some serious physical problems with them. Everything about them means I must kill them. I must.

Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases.

When my nephew was 3 and 4, he would say the most genius things. He said, You're hammer macho with FBI dogs. I thought it was just one of those great lines.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

The musquetos continue to infest us in such manner that we can scarcely exist. My dog even howls with the torture he experiences.

It ought to be realized by all dog owners that obesity shortens a dog's life quite considerably, a life which is much too short anyhow.

When there are dogs and music, people have a good time.

A country of long shadows on county cricket grounds, warm beer, green suburbs, dog lovers, and old maids cycling to holy communion through the morning mist.

I have two Iceland horses, a very hairy dog called Looney, and a guinea pig.

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

I have always found it difficult to study. I have learnt almost entirely what I have learnt by trying it out on the dog.

I guess you don't really own a dog, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.

Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Habit is the ballast that chains the dog to his vomit.

Doubt, if you will, the being who loves you, Woman or dog, but never doubt love itself.

I also have two dogs, a Chihuahua and a Yorkshire terrier, so if they like him, that's a good sign.

Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves.

People keep a dog and are ruled by this dog, and even Schopenhauer was ruled in the end not by his head, but by his dog. This fact is more depressing than any other.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep.

No one would barbecue their family dog. Why is a cow or a pig or a chicken different?

A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

Church hoppers are like wandering dogs. If they are not regularly patted on the head, they will go elsewhere until they are.

For me, ‘Dog Days’ symbolizes apocalyptic euphoria, chaotic freedom and running really, really fast with your eyes closed.

The trick is to have a career and have a family. It's like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.

Stepping to me? Yo, that's the wrong move. So what you on, hobbs, dope or dog food?

Even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked.

Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

A real dog, beloved and therefore pampered by his mistress, is a lamentable spectacle. He suffers from fatty degeneration of his moral being.

Like dogs who sniff each other when meeting, chess players have a ritual at first acquaintance: they sit down to play speed chess.

Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death.

The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

I'm a great dog fanatic. My own dog died a little while ago and I take it very personally when things die-it's a major offence.

Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.

People of the world, unite and defeat the U.S. aggressors and all their running dogs!

I don't keep a dog and bark myself.