My Wife Quotes

A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress.

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in.

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

I always expected to be working construction with my family, so every day I get to travel the world and have fun with my friends is a bonus. I really enjoy pushing myself and so does my wife.

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.

If anyone can show me ... that there is any reason - other than fear - to believe in any version of an afterlife, I'll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife.

As much as I would miss my wife if she were to die, I would miss what we are together even more. Our "we-ness," our "us-ness."

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.

'If you let a bully come in and chase you out of your front yard, he'll be on your porch and the next day he'll rape your wife in your own bed.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband.

When a wife has a good husband, it is easily seen on her face.

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag.

In adopting the republican form of government, I not only took it as a man does his wife, for better, for worse, but, what few men do with their wives, I took it knowing all its bad qualities.

I've had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don't understand women

This doctrine of polygamy, or spiritual wife-system, that has been taught and practiced among us, will prove our destruction and overthrow.

I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

Offspring, the due performance on religious rites, faithful service, highest conjugal happiness and heavenly bliss for the ancestors and oneself, depend on one's wife alone.

The bitterest creature under heaven is the wife who discovers that her husband's bravery is only bravado, that his strength is only a uniform, that his power is but a gun in the hands of a fool.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

A wife who is 85 percent faithful to her husband is not faithful at all. There is no such thing as part-time loyalty to Jesus Christ.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'

It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better.

Malthus married in 1804 and beat three children with his wife

The husband provides direction; the wife, maintenance.

Thank you, darling, for learning to play chess. It is an absolute necessity for any well organized family. (in a letter to his wife)

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'

God designed husbands and wives to complete each other, not to compete with each other.

Gratitude to the Great Sky who holds billions of stars - and goes yet beyond that - beyond all powers, and thoughts and yet is within us - Grandfather Space. The Mind is his Wife

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

By marriage the husband and wife are one person in law, that is, the very being or legal existence of the woman is suspended during marriage.

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

Everything I have is for sale, except for my kids and possibly my wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

She is a winsome wee thing, She is a handsome wee thing, She is a bonny wee thing, This sweet wee wife o' mine.

My wife has good taste. She has seen very few of my movies.

When I could have used a wife, I could not support one; and when I could support one, I no longer needed any

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow.

I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

After all is said and done, its usually the wife who has said it and the husband who has done it.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.