Random Quotes
What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.
Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.
Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.Or you, for that matter, as you well know.
No magnetic wombats, no flying hyenas, no catfish masquerading as samurai, and, MOST CERTAINLY, no Duku jam!
How many beers do y'all think it takes before one internationally scientist turns to another and says, 'Dude, bet you twenty bucks I can levitate a frog with a magnet?' ' Sam drawled.
Random thoughts that fly away. Where words has no place to stay. Let it be right where they are. Let the work of art preserve its life.
People say that they want to kill me. All I say is "I'm sorry but your appointment doesn't start until another hour, please sit in the waiting room.
It is the end of the world. Surely you could be allowed a few carnal thoughts.
You are having a bad day? Remember it could always be worse... It could be me having a bad day!
If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried
Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?
Every morning the first thing I do is serve my husband a bowl full of praises. More then his stomach I try to keep his ego full.
Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?
Tonight was definitely an eye opener, but a reminder of how I use to be & why. Self discovery happens at such random times.
I didn't actually know what regret tasted like—but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.
If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working
I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.
My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me “a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams.
When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.
Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under.
If someone loves sweet things and constantly eats angel´s hair tartlets should this be diagnosed as having some sort of heavenly trichotillomania?
Random makes you smart, random music makes your smart. So keep in touch with random, because random is your friend!
Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?
What happened out there?”“I almost got quarking toasted by a dragon.”“A dragon, ” he repeats, scandalized. “Are you mad? Or have you been skulking around the bars of Barbary XIII?
Random thoughts have the potential to create a chaotic reality.
People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.
Disturbed to her very soul, Finley could only shake her head. "You ask too much."A crooked grin curved his mouth. "Too much? You strange and wonderful girl, that is the least I'll ask of you.
I just finished running, and I look and smell like nothing very pleasant. Why, oh, why did he have to bump into me now?
I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?
I know that you know that I'm awesome, and that you know that I know that you're awesome!