Sarcasm Quotes

I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision and contempt . . .

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

I do sarcasm really poorly.

We had and incident. I took care of it." "Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know how to use that knife, Clarissa? Without poking a hole in yourself or any innocent bystanders?

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny.

Sarcasm was a weapon for children.

I'm a silly guy, I love wit and cynicism and sarcasm.

People don't understand sarcasm, like, they take everything too seriously. People need to lighten up and go ice skating.

sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them.

So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?

How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .

Sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from sarcasm.

There are too many confusing things present. Things I know. Thoughts I have. Sarcasm. Things I think I ought to be doing and places I ought to be going. Always other places.

don't be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.

Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you.

The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.

Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.

Named Harris, " Bill said. "Ever know him, Mike? He was in the war, too.""Fortunate fellow, " Mike said. "What times we had. How I wish those dear days were back.

It is most remarkable that Lincoln, when he saw so much that was vulnerable in the leadership of the Church, did not move to the opposite error and become a scoffer.

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

He has got no good red blood in his body, " said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses, " said Mrs. Cadwallader.

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry.

. . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. If indeed they are driving at anything--obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it), ...

Liraz snorted, caught off guard, and the tension between them ebbed away. "I'm sorry of my almost dying interrupted your almost kissing.

What time is it?”“One o'clock.”I nearly spit out some soda. “In theafternoon?”“No. In the morning. Don't let that damnsunlight fool you. It lies.

But nowhere in the file had anyone said, “Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction.” At least not in the parts I’d skimmed.

Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night.""And here I thought maybe I dreamed it, " Prophet muttered sarcastically.

Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring.[points to self]

There’s been a lot written on the topic of minimalism. But I still believe in it.

I'm financially ugly.

I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.

As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped.

I have a black belt in sarcasm, and my wit is like lightning.

What? Really? And I thought I was just emotionally withdrawn.” She pulled her feet up, hugging her knees. “I’m also incapable going to be your next brilliant observation.

We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.

Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t kill her, kill her.”“Oh, I see. As long as you didn’t kill her, kill her, then that’s okay.

Hello, Mrs. Tran...I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for.

And her dumplings were so light they would float in the air and you'd have to catch 'em to eat 'em.

There are a few things that even sarcasm can't protect you from.

Where are Haldad my father, and Haldad my brother? If the king of Doriath fears a friendship between Haleth and those who have devoured her kin, then the ways of the Eldar are strange to Men.

I was dead, and I hadn't even been able to attend my own funeral.

That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace.

It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony.