Sarcasm Quotes

The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape, " she explained. "She was crushed.""I'd have been disappointed too.

The worst case of discrimination can be witnessed in music. Imagine calling B 'sharp' in presence of D 'minor

I got married. A bright past is ahead of me!

I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.

In the battle of DNAs, your DNA will always win against the DNA of your father.

I should just build a bleeding house here, " I mutter as I pick myself up off the snow-covered ground. "Maybe get a few chickens. Plant a garden.

Oh, to be the author of prison letters. It's a young girl's dream come true.

Clearly, she hadn’t heard of the two words ‘social’ and ‘life’.

Not one of the boys like me. I’ve put their noses out of joint.”“Well, they were never good-looking lads.

Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!

— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

Welcome to the 21st century cosmopolitan world where biased thoughts preside over unbiased deeds, simple gestures become overrated gossip materials and injustice is a part of long term justice.

Men weigh love with hands.

He might not be here, but the day he misses an opportunity to party is the day Jocelyn Wildenstein is considered the paragon of beauty.

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.

You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have not yet had time to become old.

No one plows the field just by thinking about it.

Never take the goals and aspirations along with your corpse. Rather execute... they doth entertain and enthrall the world around you!

Just married! A bright past is ahead of them!

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much!

Behind every successful woman is a hungry man.

I wish there was some method to transform all the agony in my imprudent heart to an energy source. It would have lit up the world till eternity!!!

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.

Big people never scare me. I am a little man. I can easily hide.

I know a lie when I hear one.

I give away examples!

I watched you undress. Shame on you!

Who am I to judge me?

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels.

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?

They were all on his side. Hi boat sank.

You have the chance to remain silent. Everything you say will be misused.

Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.

Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.

The differences between women are all cosmetic.

I have some devotional books you can look over. Learn to quote from them. Nothing discourages unwanted questions as much as a flow of pious bleating.(Petyr Baelish to Sansa Stark)

You really are a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?

Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.

And little girls went to charm schools. Now you've all got degrees from the University of Sarcasm.

If wrappings of cloth can impart respectability, the most respectable persons are the Egyptian mummies, all wrapped in layers and layers of gauze

[about a hat] You can put it on and say, "Hey you, person without a hat! I've got something you don't! How did I get it? Probably by being worth more to society.

Collectivism is the best solution for a society in harmony. It will be a success when you find a living being, plant or microorganism that it can be applied to.

That's a good attitude. You should hate me more, curse me more, and detest me! Then you should take the power of that hatred and use it to survive this rotten world.

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move.

A full glass of patience with a pinch of sarcasm is all you need to deal~