Satire Quotes
The ultimate downfall of the computerized holographic receptionist was that there was no amount of flattery, flirtation or chocolate that could convince one to lie for you.
Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones.
And so the result of several years of Everybody Shareskyism, other than slaughtering people, is for everybody to stand around and stare blankly at each other.
...but there's always he'll want to torture your boss anyway. Just recreationally, I mean.""Wow that would be terrific, " I said
The birthing wolf, Her heart fed with tenderness, Gave forth from ripe brown nipples, Food to feed the universe.
Love turns, with little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: hatred alone is immortal.
Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.
When a political opponent resorts to the racist card, it's a sure sign of moral bankruptcy: there's no decent argument left in the armoury.
Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples.
After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word coun
A fig for those by law protected!Liberty's a glorious feast!Courts for cowards were erected, Churches built to please the priest!
...they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve, and if you do, you never get the results you expected.
General assumptions often lead to erroneous conclusions, but one cannot go far wrong in always assuming that whatever one's government is saying is a lie.
All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.
And evolution wasn't even properly invented until the late 1800s. Is that enough time to get a Labrador retriever from a dire wolf? I think not.
By and large, the mission of any ghost is to offer humility. They point out what's important by mocking what is not.(Joshua Malina, Sports Night)
I'm a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it's never at the expense of anything more serious than the inadequate efforts of others.
No quality imparts apparent strength to its possessors more effectively than faith. From hospital beds to battlefields, it is the iron that strengthens a man to confront his destiny.
To think or not to think? That is the new question.
Presenting a rational argument to a person who has forsaken the use of reason is like asking a vegetarian to eat a cheeseburger.
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.
The way I saw it, if my students were willing to pretend I was a teacher, the least I could do was return the favor and pretend that they were writers.
Tribal Chief 1: The will of the people is what is best. That is what democracy meansTribal Chief 2: But if the people don’t know what they are talking about, how can that be the best?
Mishaque was a stouty blend of Irish "shrek" mixed with crazy Jafakain, his front was car dealing.
St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful XR3i.
Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day.
Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.
Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore tree and using his nose as an Allen Key to release a starving rat.
You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!
A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.
Make your life the greatest story ever told!
If a fox strangles a goose just to eat the brains, you wouldn’t say the fox killed the brains. You’d say the fox offed the goose.
I think the very best attitude for anyone investing in the stock market is to make up his mind to lose money.”— The Duchess Gloriana XII
Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.
I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.
Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from.
My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.
Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.