Satire Quotes

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

It sometimes requires ignorance and arrogance to know something for sure.

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."-"It was stupid.

Pops added, "you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve.""And if you do, you never get the results you expected, " (Katherine) replied.

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

Never take life too seriously, you're never getting out of it alive.

In the event that your feminist activities are discovered, quick diversions include bursting into song, asking him how to fix something in the room and fainting.

Yeah. Of course I can do simple math. I graduated high school, ya know.”“What an accomplishment. No one has ever done that before.

There is nothing more American than buying a Japanese car on the 4th of July

Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!~Swapna Rajput~

We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe that a man can truly be happy in a shack or within the confines of a prison cell.

Wealth seldom fails to breed the fear of poverty.

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

Some people are still alive only because they find being dead more boring than being alive.

We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.

He won’t stop the war until you give him the peace prize.

The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination.

As Samson demonstrated, going bald ruins lives.

While the archetype of the tinker is generally the whipping person in classical bedtimes stories, this particular individual was a tinker by trade and just happened to be economically disadvantaged.

Remember you’re all representing your country, and you ought to behave as the Empire does.’ ‘So we can kill and loot at will, steal their goods and claim the planet as our own?’ Suruk said.

An avalanche is just a snowflake that got pissed off.

Fifty grand for a paper bucket? Well it was all about context, you see.

The average adult hates being treated like a child, unless it suits them.

Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.

Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.

He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest.

Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.

We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.

Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was and is still a prince.

The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.

Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.

Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.

Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations.

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.

An arrogant man whose arrogance we see from his own behaviour is more tolerable than a humble man whose humility we hear of from his own mouth.

Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.

Some people would not be dead if they have not gotten the things or people they had prayed for.

Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.