Satire Quotes

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

Some people are each envious of the person they used to be.

We the living are to blame for the painfulness of being dead.

I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.

We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.

You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.

The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today.

Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.

To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.

Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

After a certain point, all natural bodily changes are for the worst.

Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.

Unless it is you, finding out who your lover’s dream lover is is a nightmare.

If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.

Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).

To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.

Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).

More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.

Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.

Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.

Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.

Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.

We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.

Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.

We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.

Most people do not mind dying, as long as that does not happen today.

Immediately after a divorce or a breakup, your mind whispers that there are plenty more fish in the sea, while your heart shouts that there is only one whoever-you-just-divorced-or-broke-up-with.

Some of the people we feel sorry for feel sorry for us for thinking that they are the ones who should be felt sorry for.

To take away a man’s sanity, answer all his prayers and solve all his problems. Or give him everything and everyone he wants.

It is as difficult for most poor people to truly believe that they could someday escape poverty as it is for most wealthy people to truly believe that their wealth could someday escape them.

If there were something that Mother Nature or God could do with money, She or He would have sold immortality to the rich a long time ago.

Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.

It is in the best interest of the rich to preserve poverty.

Some people respect some people only because some people respect them.

When it comes to things such as sugar and rice, most people believe that brown is superior to white. But when it comes to human beings, they believe that the opposite is true.

Most people believe most of the things they believe only because they believe that most people believe them.

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.

Thanks to photography, some memories overstay their welcome.

Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn’t as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front.

Every single living thing is food to at least one living thing.

Our parents would not be ‘The best parents in the world’ (to us) if they were not our parents.

It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.

Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.

The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.