Satire Quotes
A deep breath is a technique with which we minimize the number of instances where we say what we do not mean … or what we really think.
— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!
You'll have to leave my meals on a tray outside the door because I'll beworking pretty late on the secret of making myself invisible, which may take me almost until eleven o'clock.
We are, or rather our natural desire to evade pain and to attain pleasure is, the primary reason we do or say every single thing we do or say.
In many cases, it was the woman’s stomach—not her heart—that fell for her man.
In some cases, it is the woman’s stomach—not her heart—that has left her man for another.
When life expectancy hit 95 years of age, married people around the world shouted, "Enough!" And just like that, the institution of marriage was reinvented.
*Prostitution* is a euphemism for rape incidents that the victim and the economy profits from.
A poet can imagine an iceberg singing a melancholic song while the world leaders find it difficult to imagine proper solution to global warming.
I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and the corner was me.
Kara knew all he recognized was T and A on a string and he was nothing more than a sleazy puppeeter, so long as there were souls for sale he was ready to buy ..
Religion and nationalism? I defecate on the altar of religious conviction, and wipe my arse on the flag of national pride.
A delightfully droll look at how the other half lives from a pet pooch's point of view.
My new story collection won’t please everyone, nor was it meant to. Then again, not everybody lives in my world. If they did, I’d have to move out and find another world to write about.
My great-great grandfather and I were the best of friends, although we never met
Everything was fine, would continue to be fine, would eventually get even better as long as the supermarket did not slip.
The world of numbers and words is odd. A number is the only word that doesn’t lie and words can be very deceitful
the whole of Victorian literature done up in grey paper & neatly tied with string
Let's stop kidding ourselves that Greek debt is the Euro's key problem. With Greece gone, who's next ?
Really, I protest--what is left for the satirical mind to invent when reality so surpasses it?
More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.
In some rare cases, a friendship between two people benefits both of them, and what’s more, in some rarer cases, it benefits both of them equally.
Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.
Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.
If the sale of flesh could be made as easily as the sale of spiritual exemption, the prescience of a dedicated businessman might be well preserved.
The only thing I hate about good people is that they like making their being good people bad people’s problem.
The pleasure or the benefit that the object of our deed derives from it is every now and then greater or even more important than the one we derive from the deed.
Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.
No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.
It is humanly impossible to be selfless. As a matter of fact, human beings are inherently selfish.
He was no stranger to compassion: his heart was open to many good impulses, though his rank often prevented their manifestation.
When you are gunning to be like other people, you are foolishly repeating their mistakes, and the worst of it all is that you can't even correct yours.
...heaven wouldn’t be like this earth, this tormented earth ruled by evil forces that tossed humanity to and fro like a slow clown in a two-bit rodeo.
After we deal and heal...NOT A A SHRED OF EVIDENCE EXISTS THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS.....Jan Marshall
Real life... Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria
(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
There are worse things than eating the dead, my dear fellow. Far worse things. There is, for instance, making a huge profit out of their funeral, which is the normal custom in the civilized world.
Some people in orthodox churches in Africa take poverty as a path that leads to heaven, making christianity look unattractive.
Not another word, not another thought, not another sniffle. If you need to pass gas, I pray you'll clench your backside and keep walking until we are certainly alone.
You have a faculty for defining the simplest in terms of the grandiose, so that a poor devil like me can't understand it.