Satirical Quotes
Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.
Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.
Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.
We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.
We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem.
Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.
The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are … or they think we are.
Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling.
You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.
Some social ills are preserved by the common misbelief that things such as ignorance, greed, and stupidity do not have the stamina required to reach old age.
A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.
Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it.
Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of cheat days they have in a week exceeds six.
Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name of the person to whom the sentences are attributed.
A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.
Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.
Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.
Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.
We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.
Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.
Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.
Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit.
Poncho was in a red mood slanging with rage and needed to cook himself out of it, while shoving handfuls of salted peanuts down his gullet and slurping ice cold Fanta
A poet can imagine an iceberg singing a melancholic song while the world leaders find it difficult to imagine proper solution to global warming.
I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.
There's no such things as sweet as dreamWell maybe if you live on itBut you could live such a sweet lifeIf you'd just realized how alive your dreams beat
Our dream is parallel to the realitySlumber's one platform for perpendicularityBut it always went contrary to the plan takenWaking us from sleep to sleep back again
When dreaming is better than reality we're livingWhat's the sense of waking up in a nightmare?
The birthing wolf, Her heart fed with tenderness, Gave forth from ripe brown nipples, Food to feed the universe.
...they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve, and if you do, you never get the results you expected.
Tribal Chief 1: The will of the people is what is best. That is what democracy meansTribal Chief 2: But if the people don’t know what they are talking about, how can that be the best?
Preferring the nausea of the path to its fated and certain ending.
Were one to call your stupid ism good, well then, one would either be equally idiotic, or a fool, or no good.