So Funny Quotes
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.
We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!
I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.
A friend of mine, now retired, was then a major exec at a major bank, and one of her jobs, the last four years, was the farewell interview.
Men at forty Learn to close softly The doors to rooms they will not be Coming back to.
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
When you're are playing for the national championship, it's not a matter of life or death. Its more important than that.
Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers.
None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
In science, read, by preference, the newest works; in literature the oldest.
The Zionist Tulsa Jew who's pugnacious is a reality. I grew up around it. And I think it's really, really funny and surprising and unlikely.
I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
Feminist humor raises consciousness. And the reason it's funny is because it stands something on its head. Goodness knows you've got to have a sense of humor if you do feminism full-time, I tell you.
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.
I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people. I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful... like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!
Yes, he is not unused to playing in midfield, but at the same time he's not used to playing there either.
A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself - and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
