So Funny Quotes
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.
Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet.
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases.
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
You have to master not only the art of listening to your head, you must also master listening to your heart and listening to your gut.
I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
