Stupid Funny Quotes

Stupid Funny Quote of the day

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.

I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me.

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important.

Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'

Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am - I am filled with humidity.

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.

I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.

I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

Dalmatians are not only superior to other dogs, they are like all dogs, infinitely less stupid than men.

It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another.

It was absolutely marvelous working for Pauli. You could ask him anything. There was no worry that he would think a particular question was stupid, since he thought all questions were stupid.

Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor.

There's no such thing as 'hard sell' and 'soft sell.' There's only 'smart sell' and 'stupid sell.'

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny.

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

I find it interesting how we get carried away by the dogma a-la-mode.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.

This book has too much plot and not enough story.

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

Why would you clone people when you can go to bed with them and make a baby? C'mon, it's stupid.

Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?

Man is the inventor of stupidity.

Boxing's all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds.

I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big.

I don't mind your thinking slowly; I mind your publishing faster than you think.

I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up.

The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

We're going to move left and right at the same time.

Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid.