The Simpsons Quotes

The Simpsons Quote of the day

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Homer no function beer well without.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

The strong must protect the sweet.

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow

I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Alice is fictional. This isn't.

Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?

Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!— Russ Cargill