Uncles Quotes

I saw Uncle John with Long Tall Sally, he saw Aunt Mary coming and he ducked back in the alley.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

I've got an uncle myself. Nobody should be held responsible for their uncles. Nature's little throwbacks - that's how I look at it.

A small business person has Uncle Sam as a partner, a partner who puts up no money, does no work, and wants 30 or 40 percent

It was very painful combing my hair. My grand-uncle was a Pentecostal bishop, and he was very strict: our hair couldn't be permed or straightened. So I just cut it all off.

I'm the only Red in our family! You know my father, my brother, my brother-in-law, my 14-year-old niece and two of my uncles are all City season ticket holders. So I'm gonna say 5-0 to United!

I'll have you weak in the knees that you could hardly speak, Or we could do like Uncle L and swing an ep in my Jeep.

My father and uncles and all their friends turned their lungs black trying to satisfy my collector's zeal.

Don't let two men fall in love with you, girls. It's not the sort of thing that ends well." -Uncle Charles

Come with uncle and hear all proper. Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones...you are invited!

Sure, my uncle killed himself playing Russian Roulette. But I choose to remember him as a great Russian Roulette player.

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

Many massacres have happened when people yell "surprise"! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party. I was there, man! How many more people gotta die?

A guy comes home from college to find his mother sleeping with his uncle, and there's a ghost running around. Write it good, it's Hamlet; write it bad, it's Gilligan's Island.

Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!

My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants.

When Liza Minelli was a child, she used to sit on my lap and call me Uncle Sammy.

I love being from a screwed up family. We have everything in my family: prescription drug abuse, mental illness, one of my uncles is a Mormon.

I did not write it (Uncle Tom's Cabin). God wrote it. I merely did his dictation.

My wife had an uncle who could never walk down the nave of an abbey without wondering whether it would take spin.

I don't write about the intimate details of my cousins and aunts and uncles, and my mother and my father because it's not right to, for me.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

...The war (WWI) cost your Uncle Sam $52 billion. $39 billion was expended in the actual war period. This expenditure yielded $16 billion in profits.

My uncle used to love me, but she died.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

My uncle always said, ‘Hurry slowly.’ I guess, it means, have the intensity of love but don’t rush into it. Have the full feeling but take it slow. Ease into it.

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.

If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.

My uncle was a music producer and even he'd tell me to get a proper job. I tried to get him to give me five grand to make an album - it didn't happen.

My grandfather had been a newspaper reporter, as was my uncle. They were pretty good writers and so I thought maybe somewhere down the line I would do some writing.

Jazz is an Uncle Tom word. They should stop using that word for selling. I told George Wein the other day that he should stop using it.

Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right.

In other words, science tells us that Adam and Eve are fictions. That Saint Paul or Uncle Tom Cobley and all thought otherwise is irrelevant. They were wrong.

For standing between Cody and his pain is my obligation, and standing between my uncle and his pain is my rent, but the pain I coax from Bronte is my joy

Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.

During my youth, the idea of moving from Lebanon was unthinkable. Then I began to realise I might have to go, like my grandfather, uncles and others who left for America, Egypt, Australia, Cuba.

I don't like the way Uncle Junior dresses. He loves it.

I mean, I'm an uncle of seven or eight, and I don't mind it at all! Kids are great. Kids are the best six-hour experience you can have!

And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that [Christmas] has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!

My uncle always said that I could have been a rancher.

When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.

My dad lived till he was 78, my mum was in her 80s, and I've got two uncles who are in their 90s now.

My dad and my uncles used to always be in the studio at my house.

I really think that it's better to retire, in Uncle Earl's terms, when you still have some snap left in your garters.

The latest page I've been working is about the organization of the pantheon of the gods. Who's indebted to whom, how they are related, who screwed whose uncle or grandmother, all of that.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

My youngest uncle Randy and I were the first members of our entire family to ever go to college.

My uncle, who was a little more flamboyant, always said the guy who dressed the best was Fred Astaire.

And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.