Work Humor Quotes

Work Humor Quote of the day

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

You see, in this country are a number of youths who do not like to work, and the college is an excellent place for them.

If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.

Llarimar had told him to do his best. That sounded like an awful lot of work. Unfortunately, doing nothing was beginning to seem like even MORE work.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers.

I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

In his opinion, working was vastly overrated. Particularly as a way to build character, for everyone who engaged in it was far too snappish and fussy, and seemed to have no manners at all.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

I do pauses, pauses work for me

We have set out to promote the work of community and faith-based charities. Government cannot be replaced by charities, but it can welcome them as partners instead of resenting them as rivals.

Without context, things are not scary. Without context, like humor, horror doesn't work.

Humor is serious work. But it keeps everybody at the table.

I didn't have all the expectations and the publicity. It probably made me work harder and learn more. It was a blessing in disguise.

God does not work salvation for fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin vigorously... Do not for a moment imagine that this life is the abiding place of justice; sin must be committed.

Without love, without humor, yoga is just a lot of hard work.

I expect you to work hard on our agenda.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

A sure way to start your own business is to stay out of everyone else’s.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.

If I have a spreadsheet that can, whatever, turn soup cans into gold, wouldn't I deserve an office?

Why do I have to do the sewin'? 'Cause I'm a girl? Is that it? It ain't fair, I tell ya!

Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should save some of it for tomorrow.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

Don’t worry, I’m not quitting. I’ve decided I’m going to stay andmake his life a living hell while I run his business into the ground.--Kim to Abe

To work hard, to live hard, to die hard, and then go to hell after all would be too damn hard.

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.