150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

Flowers don't worry about how they're going to bloom. They just open up & turn toward the light & that makes them beautiful.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

Only when you accept that one day you'll die can you let go, and make the best out of life. And that's the big secret. That's the miracle.

When you are here, God is near.

How could the eagle-eyed politicians of The Hague, who specialized in pointing out the tiniest specks in other people’s eyes, overlook someone riding a racist coach in their own neighborhood?

You know your life is completely screwed up when you have to look up the mythological figures who talk to you in the bathroom mirror.

We [the Moderns] are like dwarves perched on the shoulders of giants [the Ancients], and thus we are able to see more and farther than the latter.

A new idea is obsolete in seconds, right? I just said it and now it's obsolete.

Free the snow globes!

Pathetic Earthlings... There's not enough makeup in the universe to cover those hideous, age-ravaged potato sacks that you call faces.

I have to say, the coolest person I ever met in my whole life is John Mellencamp. I never met a person who was more secure about himself and his person.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short