A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

One who experiences prasantta [blissful happiness] within, he will have prasantta [blissful happiness] externally. The mind is a mirror (reflection) for the external.

All sorts of darkness and evil are now hiding themselves under the umbrella of religion, Christianity, church etc.

I love Japan, and Tokyo is my favorite city.

When you're working in front of an audience, you have incentive to excel.

If I did not speak with people who call me names, I could not engage in politics.

There's nothing like Opening Day. There's nothing like the start of a new season. I started playing baseball when I was seven years old and quit playing when I was 40, so it's kind of in my blood.

I wanna sit behind the scenes and see nothin' but the greens.

Neither human wisdom nor divine inspiration can confer upon man any greater blessing than this [live a life of happiness and harmony here on earth].

Nature has been taken over by thugs who care absolutely nothing about it. We need to take nature back.

A film is a terrible thing to waste.