A Discordian is someone who sees windmills and thinks they might be giants

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

Satire's nature is to be one-sided, contemptuous of ambiguity, and so unfairly selective as to find in the purity of ridicule an inarguable moral truth.

I love stories that suck you in, that you can't stop reading because you are quite simply there.

I don't really know what the dream role would be. That's a hard question to answer. You never really know, until you're immersed into something, how passionate you feel for it and how it unravels.

Only two things can stop Tiger — injury or a bad marriage.

People have to know that there are options available to us today. There is another way, and it is practical and applicable now.

Ecstacy stripped away the user's inhibitions to self-expression. On E, lies are inefficient, and the peculiarities or weaknesses they are meant to obscure no longer seem like offenses against nature.

There have been times when I have deliberately tried to take my life... I think I must have been crying for some attention.

In order to be able to set a limit to thought, we should have to find both sides of the limit thinkable (i.e. we should have to be able to think what cannot be thought).

You have to be insane to direct.

My stage show is raw and unpredictable.