A European brewery has purchased Anheuser-Busch, the makers of Budweiser, for $52 billion. Which is a a shame because if they had waited until happy hour, they could have paid half that.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

gray hair is gods graffiti

I watched you undress. Shame on you!

One does not see his thought distinctly till it is reflected in the image of another's.

I'm able to be very effective because I'm not a Democrat, I'm not a Republican. So, I'm not tied, and I'd never want to be tied to anything, to some constituency that I would have to answer to.

Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.

I've never invested myself properly in trying to write stories. When I write lyrics, mostly I write each sentence separately on an index card and then I lay them out and I just mix them up.

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.

I want people to think about the connection between mothers and daughters. I like the idea of continuity of life and generations.

Medicare will usher in federal programs that will invade every area of freedom as we have know it in this country.

I must go, not only to those who need me, but to those who need me most.