A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

I miss your silent stature, your avoided days of disaster, your present state of distress.I’m cinnamon, cloves and fire, you are the rested cedarwood of desire.

We were environmentalists of the Teddy Roosevelt theory. We believed in separation of church and state. We believed in the independence of the Supreme Court not being subject to politicians.

Thomas Davis was a great man where poetry is concerned, and a better than Thomas Moore. All over Ireland his poetry is, and he would have done other things but that he died young.

I've always had good friends and people know that I've got no ax to grind.

Governments must be conformable to the nature of the governed; governments are even a result of that nature.

No one can be perfectly free till all are free; no one can be perfectly moral till all are moral; no one can be perfectly happy till all are happy.

I have an Augustus Waters fetish.

This was the Athenians' war against the King of Macedon, a war of words. Words are the only weapons the Athenians have left.

And to Tom Cruise, for if you had won this, your asking price would have gone down so fast. Do you have any idea what supporting actors get paid? We get only one trailer, a small one, in the back.

The philosophy to 'buy and hold' is a philosophy that I use to manage funds.