A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat.

Once you put yourself in the hands of the government, you could end up in Utah.

Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.

Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.

You only live once and, usually, not even then.

I don’t think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen’s head to explode.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

Licorice is the liver of candy.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of American humor, Terry Southern would be the mountain they'd carve it from

The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.

Surely there must be a better gift God could have given us than life?

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.

Why to women have to decide between family and career if men don't even think about it?

When you go through a breakup, it feels likesomeone died. And the truth is that someone has died – the relationship.

Awakening of consciousness originated from "pain"..

I already knew the next story that I was going to rewrite from the beginning. Mine.

The anti-gun-violence movement was essentially asleep from 1994 to 2012, and during that time, the gun lobby built up enormous political power.

The Old Testament is a chronicle of horrors, describing an egocentric collection of supernatural beings who were always doing rotten things to gentle souls like Job

Twice a week I would receive injections or IV's of Factor VIII which clotted the blood and then broke it down.

These days, insecure in our relationships and anxious about intimacy, we look to technology for ways to be in relationships and protect ourselves from them at the same time.

I feel somewhat responsible for the Borders Books bankruptcy.