A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

But there is something about human beings that too often makes our love for the world look very much like hatred for it.

The one and only choice by which you can be converted is your choice to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ as your own personal Lord and Savior. The word “conversion” means simply “turning.

The most powerful idea that's entered the world in the last few thousand years - the idea of grace - is the reason I would like to be a Christian.

Whether goest, griefe? where I am wont.

For the cause that lacks assistance, The wrong that needs resistance, For the future in the distance, And the good that I can do.

A mathematical idea should not be petrified in a formalised axiomatic setting, but should be considered instead as flowing as a river.

I'm not really single. I mean I am, but i have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.

The Big Bang has made Idealists out of almost anybody who thinks. First there was absolutely nothing, then Bang! Something. This is beyond weird. Out of sheerest Emptiness, manifestation arises.

The realities of the modern global economy require government to play a substantial role in ensuring the national and economic security of the people.

My free will is a paradoxical partner of the power of intention.