A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Of the things which nourish the imagination, humour is one of the most needful, and it is dangerous to limit or destroy it.

Government is too big and important to be left to the politicians.

It is in the highest interests of the devil to persuade the world that religious people are disagreeable.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

Chanel is composed of only a few elements, white camellias, quilted bags and Austrian doorman's jackets, pearls, chains, shoes with black toes. I use these elements like notes to play with.

I can be normal by myself; no one notices me.

I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating. -Ella Varner

Magnetizing things to ourselves is a natural process, but what are we magnetizing towards ourselves, is what we're giving out.

We must move as quickly as possible to a one-world government; a one-world religion; under a one world leader.

The Christian, like a chalice without a base, cannot stand on his own nor hold what he has received any longer that God holds him in His strong hands.