A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

You can really never give birth to anything in this world without solitude.

For with god nothing shall be impossible.

Three-letter word that kills you for sure - Ego.

Copyrights do not and cannot trump publicity rights, they are mutually exclusive

I've never wanted sympathy votes in anything I do in my life.

I make a fabulous tofurkey for Thanksgiving. My Mexican-Italian family can't tell the difference.

On the road from the City of Skepticism, I had to pass through the Valley of Ambiguity.

Money is the measure of morality, and the success or failure of slavery as a money-making system, determines with many whether...it should be maintained or abolished.

Some pain you can distance yourself from, but a headache sits right where you live.

The land of literature is a fairy land to those who view it at a distance, but, like all other landscapes, the charm fades on a nearer approach, and the thorns and briars become visible.