A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Sometimes, when people look at me, I can see the pity in their eyes. All I want is hope, but neither of us can give it to each other.

Jeese, I thought, fear choking me. I was being targeted by a ‘tangoed’ psychopath!

She had lost the art of conversation but not unfortunately the power of speech.

I had decided early on that if I couldn’t dress elegant, I’d dress memorable.

I've taken up golf in the past five or six years, and most of the time there aren't too many people out there that can drive a ball further than I can.

A circle swoop, and a quick parabola under the bridge arches Where light pushes through; A sudden turning upon itself of a thing in the air. A dip to the water.

The movie on the screen is always going to be different from the movie in your head. How it makes you feel is what I'm after, what I'm chasing, and what I'm trying to construct.

There is no symmetry in nature. One eye is never exactly the same as the other.

If I can live through this, he thought, I can live through anything. If I can live through this, I WILL live through anything.

I like R&B. I listen to music, not singers.