A bee is never as busy as it seems it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Sometimes, love brings you together even as life keeps you apart.

You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it.

The soul of a murderer is blind

Any job you can go to and have a laugh everyday has got to be a good job.

No matter how we suffer, we have an obligation to others. We have to be unselfish enough to try to live in the right way, so others can get through their own lives without us fouling them up.

I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity. More specifically, I think, on innumeracy.

When you're prepared, you're more confident. When you have a strategy, you're more comfortable.

Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.

Do it, and I’ll rip your heart out and feed it to your friend. (Julian)

In a murderous time/the heart breaks and breaks/and lives by breaking.