A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

I'm not quite sure what freedom is, but i know damn well what it ain't. How have we gotten so silly, i wonder.

If they are afraid of revision in the laboratory, truth will never be released except by accident.

Gender Quotes are social disease.

To see the farm is to leave it.

You need imagination in order to imagine a future that doesn't exist.

Companies should always want to delight their customers.

In my home State of Minnesota, I have seen firsthand the importance of Byrne grants to local police in reducing crime and drugs and improving public safety.

If you are not happy with something, you should change it. So I went to a lot of therapy, and finally, I am able to speak up for myself: You are going to hear me roar!

I am now faced with mortality. Definitely not the most generous move.

When you look around your life and you notice that something is missing, don't go looking for it -- create it! The key is to design a compelling destination, while enjoying the journey!