A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

I wonder now whether inner coldness and desolation may not be the pre-condition for making the world believe, by a kind of fraudulent showmanship, that one's own wretched heart is still aglow.

You eat the wealthy, sir, and it will be your last meal.

In order to acquire learning, we must first shake ourselves free of it.

It is a common observation that any fool can get money; but they are not wise that think so.

Less than a year after loading the company up with debt, Romney and Bain gave themselves bonuses four times bigger than the $8 million they had put into the deal.

A sense that with the blessings that God bestowed upon this land, came the responsibility to make the world a better place.

Measure your growth in grace by your sensitiveness to sin.

All the blues greats took chances and developed their own style. They didn't copy.

If the aunt of the vicar has never touched liquor, watch out when she finds the Champagne.

Oh what a friend chance can be — when it chooses.