A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

The future can never lie about the past. In the end, you will see the beginning.

Life is not permanent problems with the goal of obtaining peace. Its permanent peace with occasional problems.

The thing about the ocean is that the surface won’t always tell you what is going on underneath.

One may prefer spring and summer to autumn and winter, but preference is hardly to the point. The earth turns, and we live in the grain of nature, turning with it.

We're on the computers, phones and tablets all day long, sometimes you just need to escape from the screens.

The price of being close to the President is delivering bad news. You fail him if you don't tell him the truth. Others won't do it.

Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

I'm actually graduating early. I got a lot of work done already. Being home schooled, I have had a lot of tutors help me.

Prayer is to the Christian what breath is to life, yet no duty of the Christian is so neglected.

Principles are like seeds; they are little things which do much good, if the mind that receives them has the right attitudes.