A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Worry about today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

The fact that you can do something doesn't me you are called to do it

Like an athlete trains, so must the student of life.

Do battle with the challenges of your present, and you will unlock the prizes of your future.

We miss Jesus' point entirely when we use His words as weapons against others.

In the acquisition of Sacred knowledge, scholarship and reason are not alternatives to revelation. They are a means to an end, and the end is revelation from God.

Though women have small force to overcome men by reason; yet have they good fortune to undermine them by policy.

It's extraordinary these obsessions. You conquer one but then you move onto another.

Even if Iraq IS a civil war, people have won civil wars.

We are going to have the candidate of food stamps, the finest food-stamp president in the American history, in Barack Obama, and we are going to have a candidate of paychecks.