A city is a crazy concrete jungle whose people at the end of each day somehow make a small step ahead against terrible odds.

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for long.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams.

San Franciscans have a bond of self-satisfaction bordering on smugness.

It is better to have loved and lost, but only if you have a good attorney.

There are a thousand viewpoints in the viewtiful city.

The maturity of man—that means, to have reacquired the seriousness that one had as a child at play

Practice kindness - particularly when you feel irritated or things are not going well. Kindness hardly ever goes wrong.

In syndication, the biggest buyers are car dealerships.

When the two shall be one, the outside as the inside, and the male and the female neither male nor female.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

Even if I don't have a job, I work on plays and scenes.

What were you doing with her?" I ask quietly. "Apart from questioning her about your whereabouts, I was listening to the most intriguing story about my life moonlighting as a kidnapper.

Dishonor is like the Aaron's Beard in the hedgerows; it can only poison if it be plucked.

Practice writing and speaking about what you do.

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.