A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. —STEVEN WRIGHT

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

If people copy your ideas or thoughts, don´t stop them. It´s a sign, that you are an influencer.

Be a fountain of love and joy so that everyone can see, feel, and enjoy it.

Mindfulness is to understand that there is a no moment left to be unhappy.

What was it about women and crying that made me feel like crap? They must have guilt pheromones in their tears.

I always say be humble but be firm. Humility and openness are the key to success without compromising your beliefs.

Prison, with its daily rhythm, with the transfer and the defense, does not leave any time; prison dissolves time: This is the principal form of punishment in a capitalist society.

We Americans look funny when we're in France because we don't travel, we are fairly un-cultured whereas Europeans go to Africa all the time because it's right there.

I want to work beyond external aggressions, forget that one has something to do for others if it's not for oneself.

If a nonartist teaches a subject called art, it is nonart.

In our own selves sometimes we don't feel right in this body. I think it's because our original nature is eternally free