A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Nobody can have the consolations of religion or philosophy unless he has first experienced their desolations.

Now along comes the potential creative destruction brought by a different distribution methodology, the Internet.

The lion of anger shall give place to the lamb of meekness; the raven of uncleanness shall fly before the dove of purity; the vile serpent of deceit shall be trodden under the heel of truth.

Once in a lifetime a really beautiful song comes along ... Until it does, I'd like to do this one.

It is undoubtedly true that some people mistake sycophancy for good nature, but it is equally true that many more mistake impertinence for sincerity.

When you start at the beginning of your career [that] was really focused on your own needs and obstacles, and ultimately you realize you're not really doing it for yourself.

God is more lasting than the white man.

That's where Dr. [Martin Luther] King is mixed up. His goals should be the solution of the problem of the black man in America.

Ultimately, nothing should be more important to investors than the ability to sleep soundly at night.

The only thing I oppose is persecuting of Eastern Orthodox priests and temples.