A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

It makes no sense to try to extend a friendship that was only meant to be a season into a lifetime.

Explain yourself when it is a must, but sometimes, in life, keep quit when people think you are mad or you shall speak and speak how mad they think you are!

Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed.

We'll never honor Christ if we forget how to honor each other.

Up off your knees now and shatter the average.

The reason I dislike talking about the creative process is that I do have a creative process that is a winner and it's a sure thing.

You don't have permission to disrespect yourself.

We are like a woman with a difficult pregnancy. We have to rebuild the social classes in Egypt, and we must change the way things were.

Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.

Chess and boxing have a lot in common, as both sports rely on the right strategy.