A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood.

A man must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their sufferings.

I base all of my relationships on trust, and I try to prove that trust to begin with, and so there isn't any question.

On those days when I can spend a few hours getting some understanding, I feel fulfilled. I feel as if I have made good use of my time.

Relax, ease back in your seats and let the music take you wherever it does.

To me, it's important to prove that this isn't just teenage kids' s**t and you should feel embarrassed when you're over forty and still doing it.

It sounds cliche, but success is your friends, your family, what you do, and if you're happy when you wake up.

A professional soldier understands that war means killing people, war means maiming people, war means families left without fathers and mothers.

I don't want people to think about my age. Notbecause I don't want them to know my age, I just don't want them to think about it, I don't want itto be a factor.

In Europe you can be Sophia, you can be these older women who are considered very sexy.