A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.

You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

It is wrong to have an ideal view of the world. That's where the mischief starts. That's where everything starts unravelling...

All small children are weathermen.

Truth is the offspring of silence and meditation. I keep the subject constantly before me and wait 'til the first dawnings open slowly, by little and little, into a full and clear light.

If we indeed possess light we shall never be afraid to go and face darkness anywhere, any-time.

It is not the hysterical alone for whom the great dash of cold water is good.All who dream life, instead of living it, require some similar shock.

The weaknesses of the many make the leader possible.

People who pity themselves think, 'Why would I try to do anything? I'll just fail.'

Unleash your creative energy and let it flow. Relish the possibilities.

How can you save the world you have not seen if you can't save the community you have seen?

Knowledge is being applied to knowledge itself. It is now fast becoming the one factor in production, sidelining both capital and labour.