A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the way out is through.

I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD BE BUGGED ALL THE TIME...BUGGED AND PHOTOGRAPHED

I don't know that you can do an absurdist film and just have everybody embrace it in terms of filling out cards. I just don't think it happens. So you have to prepare an audience.

Politics is a contest among people of diverse backgrounds and philosophies, advocating different solutions to common problems. The system only works when principled, energetic people participate.

Somewhere inside me there’ll always be the person I am to-night

Freedom solutions - cross-state insurers; health cooperatives.

Nature may reach the same result in many ways.

National Lampoon lost its audience when it went from monthly magazine to bimonthly to quarterly to annual to just making movies.

I don't really believe in targets, because my next target is to beat Stoke City

They could do worse, and they undoubtedly will.