A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.

A neurosis is a secret that you don’t know you are keeping.

Show me a congenital eavesdropper with the instincts of a Peeping Tom and I will show you the making of a dramatist.

Art is a private thing, the artist makes it for himself; a comprehensible work is the product of a journalist. We need works that are strong, straight, precise, and forever beyond understanding.

The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional.

A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in the theatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening.

Pearl is a disease of oysters. Levant is a disease of Hollywood.

No theater could sanely flourish until there was an umbilical connection between what was happening on the stage and what was happening in the world.

All of life is more or less what the French would call s'imposer, to be able to create one's own terms for what one does.

I do not see the E.E.C. [European Economic Community] as a great love affair. It's more like nine middle aged couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope.

Not content to have the audience in the palm of his hand, he goes one further and clenches his fist.

Happiness is only for a short time then comes sadness which proceeds on overtime

Your enemy will always plan to destroy you in any way possible thus take care of your friends, he may use them.

People exercise an unconscious selection in being influenced.

I find only freedom in the realms of eccentricity.

[T]he departing world leaves behind... not an heir, but a pregnant widow.

I know it's corny - but I love 'Jingle Bells!'

Weakness is the only fault that is incorrigible.

Oh, Homer! You don't have to play dumb anymore! You're not at school now.

The Constitution was not written to restrain the citizen's behavior, it was writtne to restrain the government's behavior.

We were so poor we envied everyone we ever heard of.