A crowd, proportionately to its size, magnifies all that in its units pertains to the emotions, and diminishes all that in them pertains to thought.

People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table.

Some people are born to lift heavy weights, some are born to juggle golden balls.

To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving.

When hospitality becomes an art it loses its very soul.

No fine work can be done without concentration and self-sacrifice and toil and doubt.

The Non-Conformist Conscience makes cowards of us all.

I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.

Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best. Genius must always have lapses proportionate to its triumphs.

I need no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are the windows of the soul.

Undergraduates owe their happiness chiefly to the consciousness that they are no longer at school. The nonsense which was knocked out of them at school is all put gently back at Oxford or Cambridge.

Nothing forces us to knowWhat we do not want to knowExcept pain

A liar only uses the truth when they want their lies to sound truthful.

It's amazing what you find out about yourself when you write in the first person about someone very different from you.

If UEFA will not embrace video technology, then we need two more officials behind the goals to help the referee.

I do recall how I got the ideas for some of my books. Many of them are a result of doodling.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

Reducing consumption is imperative, but it's pointless to cut out meat and cars while having lots of children.

There is something about the unexpected that moves us. As if the whole of existence is paid for in some way, except for that one moment, which is free.

We leave a piece of ourselves and our magic in a person that we fall in love with.

All I know is that I am constantly intrigued by something I'm doing.