A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

Agnostics are just atheists without balls.

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word coun

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.

That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.

... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.

He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have found a girl like her. She may have been the perfect woman for him.

I'm exhausted trying to stay healthy.

When need something really aggressive, outrageous and not done half-way, I feel like I'm your girl.

I think what you can see is this is a president of action. I mean Donald Trump is not one that's going to sit there and talk for too long. If he thinks someone is wrong, he's going to deal with it.

God asks everything of us, yet at the same time he offers everything to us.

I love the idea of creative collaboration. I love the idea of exploring marriages, particularly ones that are in process for a long time.

...women are better at keeping secrets, but men are more comfortable with them.

Poetry cannot take sides except with life.

Life isn't about living without problems. Life is about solving problems.

Middle class Labour leaders are recaptured by the establishment when they die.