A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

President-elect Lincoln to his confidants: "The people of the South do not know us. They are not allowed to receive Republican papers down there.

I would take care you speak of her with respect for, of course, I will interpret any disrespect for her as disrespect for me.

mnY reason of b"kup, but it hurts moRe when you don"t know evN a single-1.

I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor.

A good writer sells out everybody he knows, sooner or later.

The energy of the crowd fuels something new inside. It reminds me to live in the moment.

The only way to ensure that our promise to provide every opportunity for students with disabilities, and help them achieve their full potential, is to give our schools the dollars they need.

In terms of the overall economy, we've got challenges and the big focus has got to be on recovery, on repair, and that's going to take a while.

Money and power come as a byproduct of things well done.

The cold war is over, but cold war thinking survives.