A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

An attitude will give you heft.

I suppose you really don't need those wires they used tonight, huh?" she said."I'm a vampire, not a ghost." He seemed offended.

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust

It's not so much a thankless task, it's more a job with no thanks

Well, I'm having a good time. Which makes me feel guilty too. How very English.

And when you really think about the 9-11 event, the horrific attack on our land here in America and the death of three thousand of out loved ones, it was a defining moment.

True character arises from a deeper well than religion.

You will soon find that your joy in your home is growing, and that you have a source of happiness within yourself that you had not suspected.

I cannot see why we should expect an infinite God to do better in another world than he does in this.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.