A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Even devils should beware when bargaining with Thanos of Titan.

I just go out there and try to help my teammates any way I can. They are on me a lot to be in the lineup and do stuff for the team, but sometimes it's just...frustrating.

You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.

Enough is so vast a sweetness I suppose it never occurs.

I always wanted to be a boy scout but was too poor. Couldn't do it.

There's no light at the end of the tunnel in the Republican message, no promise of better things to come. There's only the present stagnation, followed by a slow decline.

If you like my music, great, and if you don't, whatever. I'm going to keep making it either way.

Smiling in Heaven isn't required - it's inevitable.

In religion, you obey because God is useful. In Christianity, you obey because God is beautiful.

[Y]outh is hardly human: it can't be, for the young never believe they will die...especially would they never believe that death comes, and often, in forms other than the natural one.