A free society, to be truly worthy of that name, owes healthy, competent individuals the right to end their lives on their own terms.

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

A well-thought-out story doesn’t need to resemble real life. Life itself tries with all its might to resemble a well-crafted story.

I like to believe that storytelling transcends age limitations.

My men and I have decided that our boss, the president of the United States, is as tough as woodpecker lips.

I would sing the blues if I had the blues.

I don't take a day off. I don't slack. All I know is hard-nose football. There ain't no breaks or vacations for me.

Mind is the great lever of all things; human thought is the process by which human ends are ultimately answered.

I've not given up hope the belly-putter will be banned. The R and A and the USGA are looking at it right now.

Physical perfection, working out, adds to your spiritual perfection if that is your intent.

Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn.

Hollywood expects you to experiment but on a film that makes money and if you don't make money, you're to blame. Your job is to make money.