A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.

I wish all those who've found God, would tell the rest of us where he's been hiding.

Lately the muse has been treating me like Ike treated Tina.

A little stupid is like a little forest fire. If you happen upon some stupid, please stomp it out before it spreads.

Just a thought for all you God-fearin', gun-lovin', Bible-thumpin' 2nd Amendment patriots. If it turns out Heaven's a gun-free zone, what's plan B???

God might not be dead, but he's sure as hell missing in action.

99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

God doesn't send atheists to Hell -- there's no room with all the Christians down there.

If Heaven actually exists, I don't need anyone to be my real estate broker. After all, what is religion but an attempt to sell you a share in the ultimate gated community?

If a person has no conscience, it's called being a sociopath. If a corporation has no conscience, it's called capitalism.

Words are sacred. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones, in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.

Without hardships, how could we know hope?

Patents? Disappointed? Don't think of it that way. Software patents weren't feasible then so we chose not to risk $10,000.

Work hard at . . . something.

There seems to be no agent more effective than another person in bringing a world for oneself alive, or, by a glance, a gesture, or a remark, shriveling up the reality in which one is lodged.

Meditation is existence. When we meditate, all we are simply doing is letting go and allowing ourselves to dissolve back into that which we really are. We are merging with life and light.

There are no mute, inglorious Miltons, save in the hallucinations of poets. The one sound test of a Milton is that he functions as a Milton.

Eloquence may be found in conversations and in all kinds of writings; it is rarely found when looked for, and sometimes discovered where it is least expected.

he cut through the 21st Century Gallery, past the big plastic statues of Pluto and Mickey, animal headed gods of lost America

Behind every great amusement park is a great fan site.