A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles ... it takes your mind off the cost of living.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues.

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

The earth is crying for people who make sound judgement and informed decisions.

The calm serenity of the breeze as it blows across the ocean releases the tangled web within my mind.

One's eyes are what one is one's mouth what one becomes.

To lose a son under those circumstances - a violent death like my son went through, it just puts a burden on your heart.

All my mates are at university, and it's a life I haven't had a chance to enjoy, so it's great to turn up and sample a bit of it.

I probably wanted to be a shopkeeper, because I like tills.

A true friend is someone who is always there during the ups and downs, I actually have a song called 'True Friend'.

Those who fail to reread are obliged to read the same story everywhere.

Every time you finish a book, you have a terrible feeling that there's just never going to be another one. But fortunately, so far, the next one has always shown up.

When I give a lot of speeches, they're always on the fly. I mean, I know what I'm going to say roughly, but I do not - will not read.